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When Avoidance Becomes Protection—and a Prison Denial is a psychological defense mechanism in which a person avoids confronting a painful reality by refusing to acknowledge its existence. While denial can temporarily protect us from overwhelming emotions, it often keeps us stuck, disconnected, and unable to grow. One of the most common and subtle forms of denial is the denial of our need for others . When safe, nurturing relationships were unavailable or unsafe early in life,

Finding Freedom Through Surrender When we accept the first principle of recovery and step out of denial into reality, a humbling truth becomes clear: there are very few things we truly control. This realization can feel frightening at first, but it is actually the beginning of freedom. Admitting our powerlessness does not mean giving up. It means stopping the exhausting attempt to control what we were never meant to manage on our own. When we acknowledge our limits, we no lon

Genesis 22 records one of the most profound moments of faith in Scripture: Abraham’s test on Mount Moriah. This chapter is not merely about sacrifice—it is about trust, obedience, and God’s redemptive provision. Genesis 22:2 — “Your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac” God’s command is framed with deliberate intensity. Isaac is described in a threefold way: Abraham’s son  — the most precious of all human relationships His only son  — the irreplaceable child born when Abra

Love often presents itself gently—through connection, care, and availability. But instead of responding to it, some people instinctively devalue  it. What was once good is suddenly minimized, criticized, or dismissed as unimportant or unsafe. Devaluation is a defense mechanism  in which a person reduces the value of something that feels emotionally threatening. Rather than risk vulnerability, they unconsciously turn something positive into something negative. This is not beca

Facing the Truth Is the First Step Toward Healing Before we can take the first step in recovery, we must first face and admit our denial. God makes it clear that we cannot heal a wound by pretending it doesn’t exist : “They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious.” — Jeremiah 6:14 Denial keeps us stuck. It delays healing and deepens pain. The acrostic DENIAL  helps us understand what happens when we refuse to face the truth. D — Disables Our Feelings When w

Substitution is the act of replacing one person or thing with another. Often, when people cannot access real, meaningful relationships, they find something else to fill the void. Addictions, for example, are common substitutes for unmet needs in the self. Drugs, food, sex, or even work may take the place of love, connection, or spiritual fulfillment. These substitutes act as defenses against our true need for connection—with other people and with God. Telling someone to simpl

“Yield Myself to God to Bring This Good News to Others” Choice 8: The Sharing Choice — Recycling Your Pain for God’s Purpose Many people assume that God only uses the gifted, the strong, and the extraordinary. But Scripture shows us the opposite: God delights in using ordinary, imperfect, weak people. He says, “My power works best in weakness.”  When we allow others to see our honesty and vulnerability, God gets the glory. People don’t connect with our strengths—they connect

Genesis 20  records a significant moment that took place shortly after Abraham moved to Gerar. What makes this story striking is that Abraham repeats the same mistake he made 24 years earlier in Egypt (Genesis 12:10–20). The chapter unfolds in two main parts: Abraham’s deception  about Sarah being his sister, and God’s protective intervention (vv. 1–7). Abimelech’s rebuke , Abraham’s explanation, and God’s gracious resolution (vv. 8–18). Some scholars who follow the Documenta

Idealization  is the act of viewing someone or something as perfect—or far more perfect than it really is. In psychological terms, idealization is a defense mechanism that helps a person cope with discomfort, insecurity, or unmet emotional needs. It is closely related to fantasy , which we discussed earlier, because both involve escaping reality and replacing it with a more comforting internal picture. While idealization may feel positive at first, it often creates patterns t

Choice 7: Maintaining Momentum – The Growth Choice Reserve a daily time with God for self-examination, Bible reading, and prayer in order to know God and His will for my life and to gain the power to follow His will. Recovery doesn’t end with insight. It requires maintenance. If we don’t stay alert, we can easily drift back into old self-defeating patterns. This drift is called relapse . The Predictable Pattern of Relapse Phase 1: Complacency We get comfortable. One day we st

Genesis 19 is one of the most sobering chapters in Scripture. It reveals the depth of human brokenness, the seriousness of sin, and—at the same time—the incredible mercy of God toward those who fear Him. It is not a chapter written to shame people but to awaken us, protect us, and draw us closer to the heart of God. 1. The Darkness of Sodom The city of Sodom had descended into complete moral corruption. Its culture normalized violence, exploitation, and sexual immorality. Sin

Mania  is an excitement of psychotic proportions that shows itself through mental and physical hyperactivity, disorganization of behavior, and an elevated mood that feels impossible to slow down. In the realm of emotional and spiritual growth, mania is not always the clinical diagnosis we hear about in psychiatry. Sometimes it shows up in subtle, everyday ways — especially among people who are trying hard not  to need anything. Many people stay intensely busy because slowing

Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others — except when doing so would harm them or others. “Happy are those who are merciful to others.”“Happy are those who work for peace.” Choice 6 is about relational repair . Today we courageously look at the broken places between us and other people — not to judge ourselves, not to regret our past — but to evaluate  our patterns honestly so we can heal. This ch

1. God Appears in Human Form (Genesis 18:1–2) Three men appear to Abraham, but Scripture later reveals that one is the LORD  and the other two are angels  (18:13; 19:1).The invisible God — who transcends time, space, and physical form — chooses to appear in a visible, approachable, human form  so Abraham can clearly understand His message. 👉 Application: God is not distant. When He wants to speak, He comes in a form we can understand. He meets us where we are. 2. Abraham’s H

Reaction formation  is a defense mechanism in which a person behaves in the exact opposite  way of what they truly feel, want, or need. It’s not usually intentional — it is an unconscious strategy the mind uses to protect itself from feelings that feel dangerous, shameful, or too vulnerable to acknowledge. What Reaction Formation Looks Like Someone who feels deeply lonely may present themselves as fiercely independent.S omeone who longs for connection may preach against “need

The Transformation Choice Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects. Many of us have lived the cycle: You start a diet… and then fall off. You leave an unhealthy relationship… then drift into another one. You quit smoking… then pick it up again. You stay away from gambling… and then fall right back in. We return to the old patterns we hate, not because we want to, but because our autopilot is still progra

Genesis 17 is one of the most important covenant chapters in Scripture. Here, God reveals Himself to Abram with a new name, gives Abram and Sarai new names, renews His covenant, and commands circumcision as a sign of belonging to Him. This chapter is full of identity, promise, and the transforming grace of God. 1. God Reveals Himself as El Shaddai (God Almighty) “ I am El Shaddai ; walk before Me and be blameless.” (Gen. 17:1) This is the first time God introduces Himself as

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism in which we attribute our own thoughts, feelings, or unmet needs to someone else. Instead of acknowledging what is happening inside of us, we “project” it outward onto others. For example: A person who feels inadequate may accuse others of judging them. A caretaker may meet their own needs vicariously by projecting them onto others, rather than honestly owning their desires or limitations. Projection is subtle, and most of the t

✨ CHOICE 4: Openly Examine and Confess My Faults “Openly examine and confess my faults to myself, to God, and to someone I trust.” A pure heart is a free heart—a heart no longer weighed down by guilt, shame, or the secrets we’ve tried to hide. Purity isn’t perfection. It’s honesty. It’s courage. It’s the willingness to stop running from our past and finally bring everything into the light. Choice 4 is where true freedom begins. ⭐ What Guilt Does to Us Guilt slowly destroys us