Love often presents itself gently—through connection, care, and availability. But instead of responding to it, some people instinctively devalue  it. What was once good is suddenly minimized, criticized, or dismissed as unimportant or unsafe. Devaluation is a defense mechanism  in which a person reduces the value of something that feels emotionally threatening. Rather than risk vulnerability, they unconsciously turn something positive into something negative. This is not beca

Facing the Truth Is the First Step Toward Healing Before we can take the first step in recovery, we must first face and admit our denial. God makes it clear that we cannot heal a wound by pretending it doesn’t exist : “They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious.” — Jeremiah 6:14 Denial keeps us stuck. It delays healing and deepens pain. The acrostic DENIAL  helps us understand what happens when we refuse to face the truth. D — Disables Our Feelings When w

Idealization  is the act of viewing someone or something as perfect—or far more perfect than it really is. In psychological terms, idealization is a defense mechanism that helps a person cope with discomfort, insecurity, or unmet emotional needs. It is closely related to fantasy , which we discussed earlier, because both involve escaping reality and replacing it with a more comforting internal picture. While idealization may feel positive at first, it often creates patterns t

Reaction formation  is a defense mechanism in which a person behaves in the exact opposite  way of what they truly feel, want, or need. It’s not usually intentional — it is an unconscious strategy the mind uses to protect itself from feelings that feel dangerous, shameful, or too vulnerable to acknowledge. What Reaction Formation Looks Like Someone who feels deeply lonely may present themselves as fiercely independent.S omeone who longs for connection may preach against “need

The Transformation Choice Voluntarily submit to every change God wants to make in my life and humbly ask Him to remove my character defects. Many of us have lived the cycle: You start a diet… and then fall off. You leave an unhealthy relationship… then drift into another one. You quit smoking… then pick it up again. You stay away from gambling… and then fall right back in. We return to the old patterns we hate, not because we want to, but because our autopilot is still progra

Projection is a psychological defense mechanism in which we attribute our own thoughts, feelings, or unmet needs to someone else. Instead of acknowledging what is happening inside of us, we “project” it outward onto others. For example: A person who feels inadequate may accuse others of judging them. A caretaker may meet their own needs vicariously by projecting them onto others, rather than honestly owning their desires or limitations. Projection is subtle, and most of the t

Scripture: Genesis 7:1–24 Genesis 7 describes one of the most dramatic acts of divine judgment and salvation — the great flood. Yet beneath the surface of destruction lies a story of obedience, faith, and God’s faithful preservation of life. Forty Days and Nights of Rain — A Symbol of Trial and Refinement The number forty often represents testing and refinement in Scripture. Israel wandered forty years in the wilderness (Numbers 14:33), Moses spent forty years in Midian (Acts

The Road to Recovery is a Christ-centered pathway toward healing and freedom.Each principle is rooted in Jesus’ Beatitudes  (Matthew 5), showing us that true recovery begins not in self-reliance, but in surrender to God. These eight principles outline a journey from brokenness to blessing—through honesty, humility, hope, and heart transformation. 1. Realize I’m not God. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”  — Matthew 5:3 I admit that I am pow

A Biblical and Evidence-Based Pathway to Healing Hurts, Hang-ups, and Habits The Human Need for Recovery The Bible clearly states that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23). It is our nature to sin—yours and mine. None of us is exempt. Because of sin, we’ve all hurt ourselves, we’ve hurt others, and others have hurt us. That means each of us needs repentance and recovery to live the way God intended. We often hear the phrase, “time heals all wound